Peace Attack

I can't sleep.

Too anxious. These next few weeks are pretty much the biggest thing I’ve done with my life ever and it’s only now really starting to dawn on me. To be honest, I’m scared as fuck. After all, if you break it down I’d only been dating this girl for five months before she left. That means that as a couple, we’ve been apart more than we’ve been together. And that shit’ll play with your mind, son.

In the past six months I’ve grown ridiculously comfortable with the current state of affairs. Being able to live a relationship through technology is a mixed blessing; okay people are more accessible than ever before but after a while you begin to rely on it. I’m wondering if I rely on technology to make this relationship work.

In addition to that, before this I was pretty much a massive slut. And now here I am, sinking four thousand dollars into an overseas holiday all for a girl that when it comes down to it I’ve barely known for a year. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and to overthink things.

But at the same time, fuck that. Why the hell would I be going to all the effort if I didn’t think it was worth it? I’m pretty confident everything’s going to work out, but there’s a small part of me that’s uncertain and that’s not going to go away until I land at CDG in fourty-four and a half hours time. Shit. Less than two days.