Peace Attack

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Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:28:01 +1100

watching the news/reading the news:

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:24:58 +1100

intrazone:

I am infinitely glad that I am not going to schoolies or my school formal.

But schoolies was awesome what

TODAY I WAS SAVAGELY ATTACKED

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:13:50 +1100

planettampon:

By a magpie.

The horrific incident happened on the way back to my car after buying a bottle of Portino (poor version of Portello) and some lolly mint leaves. I was innocently pondering whether the cashier at the shop was a homo or not, when the hateful creature swooped down into the back of my skull, clicking and flapping as it connected.

So I screamed and threw things in the air and crouched and looked to see if anyone was watching me. Across the road were two tradies eating fish n chips, laughing at my misfortune. Sweaty palms, red face, clumsiness ensued. Apparently The Birds is a movie and it turns out I’m not as graceful as Tippi Hedren like I once assumed.

I picked my shit up off the ground all the while frantically searching the sky for the wretched animal. I got into my car just as the fucking magpie came swooping in again, clicking and flapping once more.

There is nothing more hilarious than watching magpies swooping people and at the same time, there is nothing more embarrassing than it happening to you. It’s the same as unwanted public nakedness, spilling coins at a vending machine with a line of people behind you or farting and having no escape plan/no one around to blame.

The only way I can justify the crippling embarrassment caused after being swooped by a magpie is if I drive over one of them in my car. Magpies of the world, you have been warned: fuck back or die.

Today at work I was kneeling backwards on a swivel chair with my hands resting on the back. Suddenly the back snapped off (due to INTENSE PRESSURE) and my face landed on the nearby desk. It was hilarious.

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Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:12:54 +1100

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Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:11:52 +1100

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Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:10:39 +1100

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Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:08:16 +1100

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Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:26:17 +1100

we can post animations now? thanks blair!

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:15:00 +1100

we can post animations now? thanks blair!

So, how does everyone feel about this Justin dude?

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:07:37 +1100

Props for originality, although if there’s any other Marissa Nystroms using Tumblr they’re going to be fairly sad. Also he seems like a bit of a douche.

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Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:51:03 +1100

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:07:58 +1100

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:00:51 +1100

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:52:56 +1100

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:45:06 +1100

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:39:49 +1100

She looks so serious. I WANNA BE THE VERY BESTLIKE NO-ONE EVER...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:15:18 +1100

She looks so serious.

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST
LIKE NO-ONE EVER WAS
DUN DUN DUN
TO SUCK COCK IS MY REAL TEST
TO DRAIN THEM IS MY CAAAAAAAUSE

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:03:13 +1100

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:55:44 +1100

what to do about this simpsons mess

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:34:14 +1100

bobloblawslawblog:

ottermadness:

Destroy all spider-pig memorabilia / references. Fire all current writers. Re-hire Conan O’brien to write any future episodes.

Ugh, I think I lose years in my life thinking about how the pinnacle of ‘comedy’ in The Simpsons Movie is a one word substitution of the Spiderman theme song.

Was theorising this morning about how the downwards slide of The Simpsons can be very closely tied to the upwards growth of the Internet. The show’s handling of it as comedic fodder actually provides very convincing evidence that they just don’t know what’s going on these days, perhaps moreso than any other specific case study.